Monday, October 31, 2011

31 Days of Loving Life {Day 30 Let Him Take The Lead}

May I admit that I have been asking, no, begging God for the past nearly three years to be a stay at home mom?  Is it also ok to admit that I have allowed myself to have PPD because of it?  Well, not intentionally.  But, that's what happens when strongholds take over you.  I don't know if I will ever not want to be a stay at home mom.  I don't feel like I spend enough time with my family.  But, what I do know is that God is leading this journey.  I'm just taking His hand as a child would.  I don't know the plans He has for me, but He does.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Maybe God knows that I wouldn't be happy as a stay at home mom.  Some stay at home mom's don't feel fulfilled.  Maybe that would be me. 

Maybe God isn't saying no, but just not now.

Whatever He has planned for me is good. 

Just like when I was a teenager and my parents wouldn't let me ride with my newly licensed teenage friends (and I was so furious), they knew what was best for me.  They were protecting me.  They didn't want me to be a statistic.  They didn't want me to die like my cousin did at only 14 years old.  They had my best in mind.  They weren't trying to steal my fun or be overprotective.

I didn't understand it then. But I do now.  And, I appreciate it now. 

And just like my parents...even more than my parents...God is watching over me now.  He knows what is best for me and I'm going to let Him take the lead.

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